Good Grief!

I guess everyone feels grief in their own way - and there are a lot of different types of loss.  I noticed that the past few books here have dealt with the death of someone.  Sorry to be so 'Debbie Downer'.... but it isn't going to get much lighter.  At least this post isn't about someone dying - something to get excited about!

I had heard so many great things about the book, Eleanor and Park, that I actually stopped reading the books I am supposed to be reading for the state book award committee I am on and started listening to it.  At first, I felt disappointed.  I wasn't being drawn in as I have been with other 'great books' recommended to me by my many librarian friends. 

Perhaps because this book is meant for an older crowd, it has plenty of pages to build up steam, but when it did - it blew my socks off.  As I just spent the last 20 minutes of my lunch hour in my car sobbing along with the 'at the same time heartwarming and heartbreaking' end to the book, I can tell you that it is worth the long introduction and build-up.

Eleanor is the new girl - and much like with 'When Life Gives You O.J.', she doesn't look like anyone else.  Long curly red hair and a not-so-size 2 waist quickly give her the nickname of   'Big Red'.  As a person who also wasn't the skinny kid in high school, I felt every bit of the shame in her nickname.  Listen up, some kids aren't meant to be super thin.... read: I am of good German farmer stock and inherited a few too many masculine traits from my dad. It happens.

There is something about Eleanor.  Either you knew her in high school, or you felt like you were her.  Either way, she becomes a sort of kindred friend of yours that you want to protect from her horrible life.  I know I live in my own little bubble - if I don't want to see something, it doesn't exist, but this book gently breaks into the subject of physical, emotional, and verbal abuse in a way that feels organic and real.  I was left wondering who in my high school I may have overlooked.  Was that going on in the houses of any of my friends?  Should I have noticed something I didn't?

And then she meets Park and her life is never the same.  They find in each other a friend and champion they didn't know they needed, but will never live without.  It is those first experiences with love and connection that shape us into the fully grown adults we are today.  Even when the heartbreak comes, it is always worth it - and isn't that a good lesson to learn?

Books that make you go, "hmmmmm." And then sweep you off your feet. :)

And Then Life Gave You O.J.

I have to admit, it has been a long time since a book made me cry.  Maybe I was all cried out?  Maybe I was just reading really crappy books.  Either way - I guess I wasn't quite sure what to expect when picking up the book, When Life Gives You O.J. by Erica Pearl.  I guess perhaps I was thinking it was going to be an odd sort of 'make the best of what you have' story.  Instead, I found a heartwarming story of the new girl in town.  Zelly isn't just the new kid, she also looks different than all of the other people in her new town.  Everyone in her small town in Vermont has blonde hair and blue eyes... she has a crazy brown 'fro; talk about feeling like you don't belong.

After moving into town in the spring when her grandmother, Bubbles, passed away,

she makes one good friend, Allie, before the school year ends and her new friend goes off to camp.  Left all alone, Zelly feels like the only thing that will make her feel less lonely is if she either gets a letter from her friend at camp or gets the dog she has been asking for forever.  When they lived in Brooklyn, Zelly understood why they couldn't have a dog.  Now that they live in Vermont, if she can't look like everyone else, perhaps she can have a dog just like everyone else in town.

Her grandpa, Ace, comes up with a great plan for how to show her parents how responsible she is by taking an old orange juice jug and treating it as if it were the dog she has always wanted.  At first it just seems silly, but when she meets a new boy in town (who looks just like her), he convinces her to take it seriously.  I will let you guess what she names her 'practice dog'.

All goes well until Allie returns with new camp friends and Zelly begins to feel like a dog isn't worth all of the ridicule she is facing.

Throughout the book, Zelly is a great example of what life is like when you are the new kid - especially when you don't quite fit in with your surroundings.  The interactions of Zelly and her grandfather show both love and the understanding that comes as a child grows older and realizes that adults have feelings too; that point in each persons' life when they realize that the world doesn't revolve around how they feel and what they are doing.  The loss of Bubbles has affected Zelly deeply, but it isn't until she realizes how much her grandfather misses his wife that she begins to understand what life might be like for her 'crazy' grandfather.  

Will all of her hard work pay off?  You will just have to read to find out, but enjoy the fun and frustration until you get there.

Dealing with Grief

As a reader, I tend to shy away from reading books about dead family members.  It hits a little too close to home and brings up sad memories.  This time of year, however, the sadness is here whether I read the books or not, so I thought I would pick up a book that had been recommended to me several times by different librarian friends of mine.... and that book is Love, Aubrey.

Love, Aubrey is about a young girl whose father and sister are killed in a car accident and whose mother is so consumed with grief she leaves home not remembering that Aubrey is still there.  For weeks, Aubrey is left alone in here house until her Grandmother comes to rescue her.  The book chronicles that first summer and school year after the accident as Aubrey makes new friends, learns to deal with her grief, and to forgive her mother for the things that are out of her control. 

I found the book to be incredibly realistic and heartfelt, much as it was described to me, however, I also found the book comforting.  Unlike in some books about children dealing with grief or about families dealing with a stressful situation, all adults did not abandon Aubrey.  Although I loved reading it, the book Captain Nobody's main character Newt is basically ignored by every adult in his life.  A fact that I found almost disturbing.  In this book, I found the fact that Aubrey's grandmother, aunts, uncles, and counselor were all supporting her recovery much more attuned to what might actually happen.  I also thought that the portrayal of Aubrey's mother as she dealt with an all-consuming grief and could not help Aubrey recover very realistic.

As Aubrey learns, it isn't just accidents that take your family members away, grief can do it as well.  It is hard to deal with situations that don't turn out the way you expect them, and it is even harder when they are completely out of your control.  This book offers a little bit of hope that although we all deal with grief in our own way, even the worst grief can be overcome and we all can be happy again.   The end of the book doesn't come all 'tied up in a big red bow', but it is as happy as a sad situation can possibly get.